Cooper Thompson

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   Germany

     Adjusting to
     Life in Germany

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     a Cross Cultural
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     German Language

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Adjusting to Life in Germany

Some people chose to live in Germany, and some people came here because they had to.  Maybe they came for work, to study, for a relationship, because life in their home country was no longer possible… there are many different reasons why people have come here, and in the process of living here, people find that life in Germany can be exciting, and it can be difficult – and probably both. 

The following questions might help you think about your experience here, especially the parts of life that are difficult here.  There are many things that other people have said are difficult for them;  do any of the following questions describe what’s happening in your life?

• The first few months were exciting – everything was new and interesting – but now the reality has set in, and you are asking yourself, “Why am I here?  Is this where I want to live?”
   

• Are you lonely?  Do you miss your family and friends, and the familiar things about home?
   

• Do you notice the weather here in Germany, and complain about it, thinking, “it’s much nicer at home.”
   

• Do you sometimes think, “I was somebody in my home country.  I had a job, I had things to do, I had a purpose in life.  Here, I am nobody. I spend my days watching television and surfing the internet, trying to fill the time.”
   

• Do you feel like you don’t belong, as if there is no place for your cultural differences, for the way that you do things and see the world? 
   

• Are you trying to find a balance between your own culture – the ways that you do things and how you “are” – and German culture?  Does is sometimes feel like you have to give up some of the cultural aspects of your life that are really important to you, like the way you dress, the way you interact with people, how you express your feelings, or even what you eat?
   

• Do you try to be friendly with your German neighbors, but find that they seem cold and not very interesting in getting to know you?
   

• Do you sometimes feel like a child again, as if you can’t find your way in the world?  Have you lost some of your self confidence?  Do you feel lost?
   

• Are you drinking, or eating, or shopping as a way to “cover up” some of the unpleasant feelings you are having?
   

• If you are trying to learn German,  does it seems sometimes like you have lost your voice, because you can’t say what you are thinking and feeling?  Is it really difficult to learn German?  Do you sometimes say to yourself, “I will never be able to use this language.” 
   

• Do you sometimes get ignored or disrespected by Germans when you try to interact with them, even something as ordinary as asking a salesperson for something when you’re shopping, and they act they can’t understand you?  Do you think that you are experiencing discrimination because you are a “foreigner?”
   

• If you are in a relationship with a German, are you having some conflicts that might be due to cultural differences between yourself and your partner?

If you are experiencing any or all of these things, you are not alone.  These difficult experiences, feelings, and thoughts are part of a “normal” adjustment process to living in Germany.   Other people have experienced the same things, and there are things that you can do to improve and change your situation – or to simply get some relief. 

In my experience, it helps to talk about what you are feeling.  Some people have a tendency to isolate themselves, stay home, watch television or surf the web, and avoid the unpleasant feelings they are having.   But isolation usually doesn’t help.

By the way,  I’ve personally experienced all issues in the questions you just answered.  At one point or another, I’ve answered “yes” to each of these questions.